The Ten Commandments of Jamming
- Thou shalt not ever forsake the beat.
- Thou shalt arrange thyselves in a small circle so that thou mayest hear
and see the other musicians. Thou shalt listen with thine ears to the songs
and attempt to play in accord with the group; also, open thine eyes betimes
to look about thee, lest there br some visual sign someone is endeavoring to
send thee. Thou shalt play softly when someone lifteth his voice in song,
when playing harmony, and when thou knowest not what thou doest.
- Thou shalt play in tune. Tune thine instument well, and tune it often
with thine electric tuner, lest the sounds emanating from thine instrument
- Thou shalt commence and cease playing each tune together as one, so
that the noise ye make be a joyful noise, and is not an abomination.
Whensoever a musician sticketh forth his foot as though he were afflicted
with a cramp in the fatted calf, thou must complete the rest of that verse,
and then cease.
- Thou shalt stick out thine own foot or else lift up thy voice crying
"This is it !", or "Last time !" if thou hast been the one to begin the
song, and it has been played sufficient times over. If the one who began a
tune endeth it not by one of these signs, then the tune will just go on and
on, like the Old Testament, until the listeners say,"Hark ! It all soundeth
- Thou shalt concentrate and thou shalt not confound the music by mixing
up the A part and the B part. Most songs, but not all, proceed according
to the ancient law "AABB". But if thou sinneth in this regard, or make any
mistake that is unclean, thou may atone not by ceasing to play - but by
reentering the tune in the proper place and playing on.
- Thou shalt be ever mindful of the key the banjo or accordion is tuned in,
and play many tunes in that key, For the banjo is but a lowly instrument,
which must needs be retuned each time there is a key change, and the accordion
may not be tuned at all except by an expert.
- Thou shalt not speed up or slow down accidentally when playing a
tune, for it is an abomination. (see commandment I)
- Thou shalt not, by thine own self, commence noodling off on a tune the
other musicians know not, unless asked or unless thou art teaching that
tune, for it is an abomination, and the other musicians will not hold thee
guiltless, and shall take thee off their computer lists, yea, even unto the
third and the fourth generation.
Chapter 3, vs 17-18 Book of khanduikus:
Thou shalt not come to the jam session to impress others with thine amazing
talents for this also is an abomination. The song shalt be the center around
which all musicians shall rotate, not vice-versa.
"Attempts to make thine own star shine shall lead thee into darkness."