From: BAGELS::CORBETT "JD - LKG1-1/B19 - POLE A13 - DTN 226-7442 From: COOKIE::ELMER "Randy Elmer 523-2937...CSSE RdbStar/AIM Eng. From: KYDZ::BOURQUE "Stephanie * 223-8686 * M/S: MLO6A-3/T96 03-Sep-1991 Subj: IVY League humor.... Three explorers from different east-coast universities decided to pool their resources and explore a region in French Guiana where, reportedly, no white men had been for two hundred years. After days of hacking their way through the jungle, they were surrounded and captured by a tribe of headhunters. They were brought to a large village and taken before the chief. "You are trepassing on our tribal lands," he said, "and there is only one penalty for that -- death by beheading. You will die tomorrow morning." All their attempts to change his mind proved fruitless, and they were taken away to await their punishment. The next morning, they were dragged from the hut where they had been imprisoned and led to a large open area in the center of the village, where a huge crowd had gathered to witness the executions. In the middle of this open area stood an antique French guillotine. The explorers' intellectual curiosity overcame their fear, and one of them asked the chief, "Where did you get this guillotine?" "Many years ago, in the days of my grandfather's grandfather's father, other white men came here, and brought this with them. They were cruel and brutal, and murdered many of my people by cutting their heads off with this machine. Finally, many warriors of my tribe attacked the white men and killed them, and since that day, we have used this death machine on every white man we have captured." The first explorer was dragged to the guillotine platform. the chief said, "Have you anything to say before you die?" The explorer replied, "I'm from Harvard, and I believe that the search for truth is the noblest endeavor of mankind." The chief made a sign, the warrior standing by the guillotine pulled the handle, but the blade would not fall. A murmur of surprise rose from the crowd. "A prophet!" said a woman. "He must be a prophet, and protected by the gods!" The chief considered this, decided it must be so, and ordered the first explorer released. He then had the second explorer dragged to the guillotine, and said, "Have you anything to say before you die?" The second explorer said, "I'm from Princeton, and I believe that knowledge is worth any sacrifice." Again the chief made a sign, again the warrior standing by the guillotine pulled the handle, and again the blade would not fall. The crowd roared in astonishment. "He must be a prophet, too!" shouted a man. The chief ordered the second explorer released. He then had the third explorer dragged to the guillotine, and said, "Have *you* anything to say before you die?" The third explorer looked up, pointed, and then said, "I'm from MIT, and I believe that if you straighten this part here a little bit you can get this thing to work."