From news.mtholyoke.edu!news.byu.edu!hamblin.math.byu.edu!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!math.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!pipex!sunic!seunet!kps!ded Fri Jul 9 21:41:55 EDT 1993 Article: 114675 of rec.humor Path: trillian.mit.edu!news.mtholyoke.edu!news.byu.edu!hamblin.math.byu.edu!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!math.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!pipex!sunic!seunet!kps!ded From: ded@kps.se (David Edwards /DP) Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Re: Desperately seeking "A Grim Fairy Tale" Message-ID: <1333@kps.se> Date: 9 Jul 93 08:51:04 GMT References: <21fqes$oep@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov> Distribution: world Organization: Kuwait Petroleum, Stockholm, Sweden Lines: 90 In article <21fqes$oep@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov> gat@robotics.jpl.nasa.gov (Erann Gat) writes: >I have misplaced one of my most prized posessions, a copy of a humor >piece entitled "A Grim Fairy Tale" about a Japanese and an American >car company that compete in a boat race. (It came across rec.humor.funny >many months ago.) If anyone could email me a copy of this piece I would >greatly appreciate it. Here it is: Apropos Japan, I also copied a nice little song at the end. You might appreciate it too. A Grim Fairy Tale ----------------- Once upon a time, an American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their moral sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives. > >Thanks, >Erann Gat >gat@robotics.jpl.nasa.gov > >BTW: Is rec.humor.funny archived anywhere? Dunno but here's the song: Blame the Japanese -------------------------------------------------------------- The New York Times, January 29, 1992 By George Dawson When the phone is out of order, and the roof has sprung a leak, When the money in your paycheck barely gets you through the week, When the baby has the colic, and your dog is full of fleas, Don't complain to Washington - just blame the Japanese. When the crooks are running rampant, and the judges are too lax, When letters from the I.R.S. demand some extra tax, When your son is quitting college, and your daughter's getting D's, Just do what Iacocca does - and curse the Japanese. When your taxes keep on rising, while your bank-book starts to shrink, When pollution clouds your city, so the air begins to stink, When the temperature is falling, and your pipes are sure to freeze, Call upon your Congressman to bash the Japanese. When everyone around you is complaining of the news, And some condemn the Arabs while others blast the Jews, Stiffen up your lip, my son, and never bend your knees - Just be a true American, and blame the Japanese. David Edwards =============================================================================== The part of you that cannot be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning - even if it could be. --Black Adder