Bush Accuses God of Wielding WMDs


BREAKING NEWS: With the eruption of Mt. St. Helens, US President George W. Bush accused God of attacking the United States with multiple WMDs over the course of the summer. Bush counted several hurricanes, numerous tornadoes and thunderstorms, floods, and the recent earthquake in southern California as examples of God's terrorist activity. Bush said that the threats of detonating Mount Saint Helens in Washington and another volcano in Hawaii signalled great threats to national security. Bush said that his administration would immediately begin searching for God's forces "on the ground" so that the US might be able to fight back. A spokesman for the Vatican said that the Pope was preparing a statement in response to Bush's grevious threats. When asked what she thought of Bush's reponse to the eruption, a spokeswoman for the USGS simply shook her head, blushed, and asked for the next question. Bush tried to use the simultaneous eruption of a Mexican volcano to garner Mexican support for the War on Terror. The Mexican ambassador to the US said "Bush is loco. Muy, muy loco." No members of Bush's inner circle could be reached for comment.

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