BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN

  • We got off the Titanic first.
  • We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  • We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
  • We can cry and get off speeding fines.
  • We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
  • Taxis stop for us.
  • We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
  • Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).
  • New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
  • No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
  • We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
  • If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
  • We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
  • We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
  • If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
  • We have the ability to dress ourselves.
  • We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
  • If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
  • There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
  • We'll never regret piercing our ears.
  • We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
  • We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.