Subject: Three Wishes A man had just finished a putt on the Golf Course and reached in the hole to get his ball, but pulled out a leprechaun! "Sure, and ye have me," cried the leprechaun. "And if you let me go, for yer tribble, I'll give ye three wishes!" "Thank you," said the man. "I don't really need anything, so I'll pass on the wishes." He let the leprechaun go, and went off to finish his game. The leprechaun was dumbfounded. Who had ever heard of such a thing? He sat on a pebble and thought to himself "Such a man as that deserves three wishes! I'll give 'em to 'in spite o' himself! Now what should he wish for? Why money, of course! Everyone wants money. So, for his first wish he wants to be a millionaire! And second -- let's make him a great golfer, and a master of the uillean pipes! And last -- ah! Let him have a wonderful sex life." A month went by and the leprechaun spotted the man playing on the golf course again. He jumped out of a hole and yelled up to the man, "How ye be doing?" The man smiled and said, "Hello, little friend. I'll be doing just fine." The leprechaun smiled back and said, "And how's your money situation, if you don't mind my asking?" "It's funny you should ask," replied the man. "A distant uncle of mine passed away and left me a fortune - he had been very sick, and no one even knew that he had any money." "Hah! Is that so? And how's yer golf game now?" "It's an amazing thing," said the man. "For the past few weeks I can't do worse than two under par!" "Sure, and that's wonderful!" With a sly look, the leprechaun asked, "And how's yer sex life?" The man, obviously embarrassed, looked away and coughed, "Well, it's fine. Two or three times a month." The leprechaun was aghast. "Two or three times a month? That's horrible!" The man looked up and said, "Actually, it's not bad for a priest in a small parish."