Subject: Bread for Tashlich 5761
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 2000 22:36:56 EDT

On Rosh Hashanah , there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean (or a stream or river), pray, and then throw bread crumbs onto the water, so the fish can symbolically eat their sins. Some people have been known to ask what kind of bread crumbs should they throw:

ordinary sins white bread
exotic sins french bread
particularly dark sins pumpernickel
complex sins multi-grain
twisted sins pretzels
tasteless sins rice cakes
sins of indecision waffles
sins committed in haste matzo
sins of chutzpah fresh bread
substance abuse/marijuana stoned wheat
substance abuse/heavy drugs poppy seed
committing auto theft caraway
committing arson toast
passiveness when action is warranted milk toast
being ill-tempered/sulky sourdough
cheating customers shortbread
risking one's life unnecessarily hero bread
excessive use of irony rye bread
telling bad jokes corn bread
being money hungry raw dough
war-mongering kaiser rolls
immodest dressing tarts
causing injury or damage to others tortes
promiscuity hot buns
promiscuity with gentiles hot cross buns
davenning (praying) off tune flat bread
being holier than thou bagels
indecent photography cheese cake
over-eating stuffing
gambling fortune cookies
abrasiveness grits
cheating baked goods with nutrasweet and olestra
impetuousness quick bread
negligent slip ups banana bread
dropping in without warning popovers
perfectionism angel food cake
being up-tight and irritable high-fiber bran muffins

Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone.