From:	MVDS00::CISZEK "SPE NaC Programs Manager - 264-5101 
05-May-1992 1050"  5-MAY-1992 10:45:35.18
To:	@NSTAFF,@NPSTAFF
CC:	
Subj:	Marketing Glossary


    Courtesy of Mathias Parlinski @ATY:
    
             Software Engineering Glossary of Product Terminology
         
                                   -- or --
         
                   The world of computer terms as seen from
                           a Marketing point of view
         
         
         
         ALL NEW .................... The software is not compatible 
                                      with previous versions
         
         ADVANCED DESIGN ............ Upper management doesn't 
                                      understand it
         
         BREAKTHROUGH ............... It nearly booted on the first 
                                      try
         
         NEW ........................ Different colours from previous 
                                      version
         
         DESIGN SIMPLICITY .......... Developed on a shoe string 
                                      budget
         
         EXCLUSIVE .................. We're the only ones who have the 
                                      documentation
         
         FIELD TESTED ............... Manufacturing doesn't have a 
                                      test system
         
         FOOLPROOF OPERATION ........ All parameters are hard coded
         
         FUTURISTIC ................. It will only run on the next 
                                      generation super-computer
         
         HIGH ACCURACY .............. All the directories compare
         
         IT'S HERE AT LAST .......... We've released a 26 week project 
                                      in 48 weeks
         
         MAINTENANCE FREE ........... Impossible to fix
         
         MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS .... It compiles without errors
         
         PERFORMANCE PROVEN ......... Works through Beta Test
         
         REVOLUTIONARY .............. Disk drives go round and round
         
         SATISFACTION GUARANTEED .... We'll send you another copy if 
                                      it fails
         
         STOCK ITEM ................. We shipped it once before, and 
                                      we can do it again, probably
         
         UNMATCHED .................. Almost as good as the 
                                      competition
         
         UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE .. Nothing ever ran this slow 
                                      before
         
         YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT ....... We finally got one to work


      *          *          *           *          *          *          *


	What do the LAPD and Pee-Wee Herman have in common?

        They both get off in public.


	Why did the blonde snort the sweet-and-low?

	She thought it was Diet Coke!



------- End of Forwarded Message