Net Advice for Hopelessly Clueless
- Big companies don't do business via chain letters.
Bill Gates is not giving you $1000. Disney is not giving you a free
There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. Proctor &
Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not
MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the
The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no
need to pass it on "just in case it's true."
- There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up
in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it
happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the
ring stories, see:
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward & tell their stories."
None have. That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
- Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. Even if
they do, we all have it. & even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe,
decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
- If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that
went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
- There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever,
ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first
confirm that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with
viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com And even then, don't forward it. We
care & you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to
download it....ya know, like, a FILE!
- There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes
headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
- If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off
the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't
care enough to save the attachment & then view it with a web browser since
you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe
- If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message
from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of
headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.
wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>" that begin each line either.
Besides, if it
has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it.
- Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not
dying of cancer or anything else at this time & would like everyone to
stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a
- The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine
work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in
to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and
reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.
- If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything
that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't,"-then
something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
- Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail
won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your
local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty
International or the Red Cross.
- As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean
nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the
competition is complaining about.
- KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers, beaks & feet.
No, they really do. Why did they change their name? In this health
conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken.
FRIED is not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed
the name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to
- Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four
generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not
actually make it true.
PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long
distance companies to charge you for using the Internet.
Bottom Line...composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as
easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically
believe it until it's proven false...ASSUME it's false, unless there is
proof that it's true.
*** Now forward this to everyone you know or the program I just put on
hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach
out and slap you upside the head! ***