The Microsoft House
- At least once a day you are forced to stop your current task, close
all of your windows, and restart your home.
- You replace every switch, outlet, module, and controller in your
home every two years.
- Your new garbage compactor requires you to throw everything away
- A virus has taken over your controller and is using it to turn on
and off the Christmas tree at the Whitehouse.
- Your home automation protocol is "Like X-10, Only Better!"
- You can't legally use all of the lights in your house concurrently.
- You were forced to upgrade the driver for your bedroom ceiling fan
twice last week.
- You are prompted to accept a licensing agreement before making
- Patches for your toaster control module come out weekly.
- You now pay a yearly fee for each switch in your home.
- Floor doesn't work, but the windows look really nice.
- If a window fails to close, you may need to press stop, rewind and
fast forward on the VCR at the same time.
- The security system can be bypassed by pressing cancel on the front
door, but the tv and telephone will be disabled untill you step outside
and use the key.
- Your house is infested with bugs.
- You've got cameras and microphones in all the rooms, but have no
idea who's watching.
- Periodically you are required to tear your house down to bare ground
and completely rebuild it from scratch, and then reinstall all furniture
and appliances. ;-)
- If you change more than 5 pieces of furniture, you have to call
Microsoft to get a new "Alarm Deactivation Number (ADN)" or you
won't be able to enter your house.
- If you have a new Palladium-enabled house, Microsoft representatives
can enter in the middle of the night, poke around, and make off with any
items they don't think you should have.