Ladies vs. Real Women
- Ladies:
- If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,drop
in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
fix-me up.
- Real Women:
- If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat
it and you will like it!"
- Ladies:
- Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
- Real Women:
- Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might
still have the headache, but who cares!
- Ladies:
- Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
- Real Women:
- Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake,
you are probably lying down on the couch, with your feet up anyway!
- Ladies:
- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
- Real Women:
- Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
- Ladies:
- When a cake recipe call for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake
mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
- Real Women:
- Go to the bakery- they'll even decorate it for you!
- Ladies:
- Brush some egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
beautiful glossy finish.
- Real Women:
- Sara Lee frozen freaking pie directions do not include
brushing egg white over anything!
- Ladies:
- If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
- Real Women:
- Ask a good looking male neighbor to do it!
- Ladies:
- Don't throw out all the leftover wine, freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
- Real Women:
- What leftover wine???
- Ladies:
- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.
- Real Women:
- A true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... we messed up!"