Ladies vs. Real Women


Ladies:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant fix-me up.
Real Women:
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and you will like it!"

Ladies:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares!

Ladies:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying down on the couch, with your feet up anyway!

Ladies:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women:
Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

Ladies:
When a cake recipe call for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Women:
Go to the bakery- they'll even decorate it for you!

Ladies:
Brush some egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women:
Sara Lee frozen freaking pie directions do not include brushing egg white over anything!

Ladies:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women:
Ask a good looking male neighbor to do it!

Ladies:
Don't throw out all the leftover wine, freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women:
What leftover wine???

Ladies:
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.
Real Women:
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... we messed up!"