From: richardm@runx.oz.au (Richard Murnane)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: LJBF meets the LBJ
Approved: funny@clarinet.com

[Another original piece of net.humor, from the people who brought  you
"The Power Users Guide to Power Users" ...

Note  1:   for  those who don't already know, an LJBF is a person who,
unconsciously and subliminally convinces  you  that  you  are  without
doubt,  the  man/woman  s/he's been looking for all his/her life, then
crushes your ego, self-respect, and will-to-live by uttering the  four
most awful words in the English language:
              "Let's Just be Friends"
 
Note 2:  To avoid  the  awkwardness  inherent  in  non-sexist  writing
(his/her,  s/he,  etc.)  one  has composed this joke from the point of
view of a male being LJBF'ed.   This  is  more  in  keeping  with  the
author's  own  personal experience :-) No sexist sentiment is intended
or implied; female readers may substitute 'his' for 'her'  etc.   With
that in mind...]

Q:  How many LJBFs does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Only one, who will...

   ...  call you up every night for three months and talk to  you  for
   hours  on end, about how bad her current light bulb is, how it goes
   out without warning, and never provides her with the kind of  light
   she would really love to have.
 
   ...   tell  you  what  a wonderful light bulb you have, and how any
   woman would die to have such a light bulb.
 
   ...  tell you it's amazing that your light bulb  has  been  sitting
   alone  in  it's  little  corrugated cardboard tube for the last six
   months and even more amazing that you don't have a dozen sockets to
   screw it into.
 
   ...   call you up at three o'clock on a Monday morning, (destroying
   any chance you had of being  alert,  much  less  coherent  at  that
   crucial business meeting at 8am) to agonise about the fight she had
   with her light bulb, and to tell you  that  she  finally  lost  her
   temper with it and unscrewed the light bulb forever.
 
   ...   be shocked at your offer of a replacement bulb, and will tell
   you that she could *never* screw your light  bulb  into  her  empty
   socket,  that  doing so would ruin the light it gives out, and that
   it's too good a bulb for her anyway,  but  that  she  hopes  she'll
   still  be  able  to  come over and talk to you about her light bulb
   problems.
 
   ...  go home, rummage through the trash can, find the defunct light
   bulb, lovingly clean it off, screw it back into the socket, and sit
   there in the dark.
 
   ...  call you up every night for three months...
--
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