Bush Accuses God of Wielding WMDs
BREAKING NEWS: With the eruption of Mt. St. Helens, US President George W.
Bush accused God of attacking the United States with multiple WMDs over the
course of the summer. Bush counted several hurricanes, numerous tornadoes and
thunderstorms, floods, and the recent earthquake in southern California as
examples of God's terrorist activity. Bush said that the threats of
detonating Mount Saint Helens in Washington and another volcano in Hawaii
signalled great threats to national security. Bush said that his
administration would immediately begin searching for God's forces "on the
ground" so that the US might be able to fight back. A spokesman for the
Vatican said that the Pope was preparing a statement in response to Bush's
grevious threats. When asked what she thought of Bush's reponse to the
eruption, a spokeswoman for the USGS simply shook her head, blushed, and
asked for the next question. Bush tried to use the simultaneous eruption of a
Mexican volcano to garner Mexican support for the War on Terror. The Mexican
ambassador to the US said "Bush is loco. Muy, muy loco." No members of Bush's
inner circle could be reached for comment.
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