- When you are sad,
- I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
- When you are blue,
- I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
- When you smile,
- I'll know you finally got laid.
- When you are scared,
- I will rag you about it every chance I get.
- When you are worried,
- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
- When you are confused,
- I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
- When you are sick,
- stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
- When you fall,
- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
- This is my oath,
- I pledge 'til the end. Why you may ask?
- Because you're my friend!
Send this poem to ten of your closest friends and get depressed
because you realize you only have 2 friends, and one of them is
not speaking to you right now anyway.