- Abdicate (v)
- to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
- Balderdash (n)
- a rapidly receding hairline.
- Boss (n)
- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
- Circumvent (n)
- the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
- Coffee (n.)
- a person who is coughed upon.
- Committee (n)
- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
- Compromise (n)
- The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
- Criminal (n)
- A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.
- Divorce (v)
- Future tense of marry.
- Dopeler Effect (n)
- The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Esplanade (v)
- to attempt an explanation while drunk.
- Etc.
- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
- Experience (n)
- The name men give to their mistakes.
- Father (n)
- A banker provided by nature.
- Flabbergasted (adj)
- appalled over how much weight you have gained.
- Flatulence (n)
- the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
- Foreploy
- Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Frisbeetarianism (n)
- The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
- Gargoyle (n)
- an olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Giraffiti (n)
- Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Glibido (n)
- All talk and no action.
- Hipatitis (n)
- Terminal coolness.
- Ignoranus (n)
- A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
- Inoculatte (n)
- To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Intaxication (n)
- Euphoria at getting a tax refund,which lasts until
you sober up when you realize it was your money to start with.
- Karmageddon (n)
- It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
- Lymph (v)
- to walk with a lisp.
- Negligent (adj)
- describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
- Office (n)
- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
- Osteopornosis (n)
- A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
- Oyster (n)
- a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
- Philosopher (n)
- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
- Pokemon (n)
- A Jamaican proctologist.
- Politician (n)
- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
- Rectitude (n)
- the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
- Reintarnation
- Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Sarchasm
- The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Testicle (n)
- a humorous question on an exam.
- Willy-nilly (adj)
- impotent.
If you have more good words like these,
let me know.
Sources:
The Washington Post has annual contests asking readers to take a
word from the dictionary, possibly alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Private email from friends.
Sources: