New Dictionary Words

Abdicate (v)
to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash (n)
a rapidly receding hairline.
Boss (n)
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Circumvent (n)
the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Coffee (n.)
a person who is coughed upon.
Committee (n)
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise (n)
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Criminal (n)
A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.
Divorce (v)
Future tense of marry.
Dopeler Effect (n)
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Esplanade (v)
to attempt an explanation while drunk.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience (n)
The name men give to their mistakes.
Father (n)
A banker provided by nature.
Flabbergasted (adj)
appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence (n)
the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Frisbeetarianism (n)
The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Gargoyle (n)
an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Giraffiti (n)
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Glibido (n)
All talk and no action.
Hipatitis (n)
Terminal coolness.
Ignoranus (n)
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Inoculatte (n)
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Intaxication (n)
Euphoria at getting a tax refund,which lasts until you sober up when you realize it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon (n)
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Lymph (v)
to walk with a lisp.
Negligent (adj)
describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Office (n)
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Osteopornosis (n)
A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
Oyster (n)
a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Philosopher (n)
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Pokemon (n)
A Jamaican proctologist.
Politician (n)
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Rectitude (n)
the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Testicle (n)
a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly (adj)

If you have more good words like these, let me know. Sources:

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