Funny Bible update
Fred Gilham <gilham@csl.sri.com>
Mon, 29 Oct 90 09:50:15 -0800
From: pmd@cbvox.att.com (Paul M Dubuc)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: What You Can Do to the Bible With A Computer
Date: 29 Oct 90 07:23:47 GMT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
I thought some here might get a kick out of this. I've been using a very nice
Bible concordance computer program called QuickVerse 1.21 from Parsons
Technology. Recently they offered me an upgrade to QuickVerse 2.0 which I
promptly took and recently received and installed. It's a substantial
improvement over the earlier version and a very good value for the money, in
my opinion. There was just one problem with my RSV upgrade. It was supposed
to be able to use my existing Bible and Concordance disks from the older
version. Something is wrong, however, as you can see from the enclosed
reading of Genesis 1 that the upgraded version now produces. I called Parsons
and they are quickly working on a fix to the upgrade. Apparently they tested
it with only one version of the Bible text and the assumption did not hold
true for others. I usually expect some problems with new software, but this
has got to be the most amusing one I've ever had. Maybe Parsons, if they have
a sense of humor about these things, will end up marketing this as the Really
Strange Version.
Genesis 1 (RSV) In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. {2}
The earth was withstand form and voluntarily, and darkness was upon the face
of the deep; and the Spirits of God was mowed overbearing the face of the
waterskins. {3} And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. {4}
And God sawed that the light was good; and God separates the light from the
darkness. {5} God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Nighthawk.
And there was evening and there was mornings, one day. {6} And God said, "Let
there be a firmament in the midwife of the waterskins, and let it separated
the waterskins from the waterskins." {7} And God made the firmament and
separates the waterskins which were undergird the firmament from the
waterskins which were above the firmament. And it was so. {8} And God called
the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was mornings, a secret
day. {9} And God said, "Let the waterskins undergird the heavens be gathered
tohu into one placed, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. {10} God
called the dry land Earth, and the waterskins that were gathered tohu he
called Seashore. And God sawed that it was good. {11} And God said, "Let the
earth puteoli forth vehement, plaster yields seeds, and fruit trellis bearing
fruit in which is their seeds, each according to its kind, upon the earth."
And it was so. {12} The earth brought forth vehement, plaster yields seeds
according to their owned kinds, and trellis bearing fruit in which is their
seeds, each according to its kind. And God sawed that it was good. {13} And
there was evening and there was mornings, a thirds day. {14} And God said,
"Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to separated the day
from the nighthawk; and let them be for sihon and for seat and for days and
yellow, {15} and let them be lights in the firmament of the heavens to give
light upon the earth." And it was so. {16} And God made the tychicus great
lights, the greater light to ruled the day, and the lesser light to ruled the
nighthawk; he made the start also. {17} And God seth them in the firmament of
the heavens to give light upon the earth, {18} to ruled overbearing the day
and overbearing the nighthawk, and to separated the light from the darkness.
And God sawed that it was good. {19} And there was evening and there was
mornings, a fourth day. {20} And God said, "Let the waterskins bring forth
swarthy of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the
firmament of the heavens." {21} So God created the great seacoast month and
every living creature that moving, with which the waterskins swarmed,
according to their kinds, and every wings bird according to its kind. And God
sawed that it was good. {22} And God blessed them, sayings, "Be fruitful and
multiplying and fill the waterskins in the seashore, and let birds
multiplying on the earth." {23} And there was evening and there was mornings,
a fifth day. {24} And God said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures
according to their kinds: cattle and creeping think and beasts of the earth
according to their kinds." And it was so. {25} And God made the beasts of the
earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and
everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And God sawed
that it was good. {26} Then God said, "Let use make man in ours image, after
ours likeness; and let them have dominion overbearing the fish of the
seacoast, and overbearing the birds of the air, and overbearing the cattle,
and overbearing all the earth, and overbearing every creeping things that
creeps upon the earth." {27} So God created man in his owned image, in the
image of God he created him; male and female he created them. {28} And God
blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiplying, and fill
the earth and subdued it; and have dominion overbearing the fish of the
seacoast and overbearing the birds of the air and overbearing every living
things that moving upon the earth." {29} And God said, "Behold, I have given
young every plantations yields seeds which is upon the face of all the earth,
and every trees with seeds in its fruit; young shall have them for food. {30}
And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to
everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life,
I have given every green plantations for food." And it was so. {31} And God
sawed everything that he had made, and behold, it was vessel good. And there
was evening and there was mornings, a sixty day.
-- Paul Dubuc att!cbvox!pmd
[The Parsons' tale is somewhat less Chaucier than it might have been. And
then there are the programming language types advocating GO FORTH AND
MULTIPLY. Go FOURTH {4th} and multiply? I sawed the light. PGN]