Accident Report Song

Why Paddy's Not At Work Today

Oh, Sally dear, I'm writing now, to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
And I'm writing now to tell why Paddy's not at work today.

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear
To drop them down from such a height, was not a good idea
The bossman being over me, was such an awful sod
He said I'd have to carry all those bricks down in me hod.

To carry all those bricks all down by hand was oh so slow
So I rigged up a pulley and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

So when I at last untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope, it's I shot up instead
I climbed up like a rocket, as the barrel fell towards the ground
And halfway up I met that bloody barrel coming down

Now the barrel broke my collarbone, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I clung on tight, so numb with pain, from such an awful blow
While the barrel spilt the building bricks, 14 floors below

I then outweighted the barrel, so I started down once more
And landed on the building bricks a-scattered on the floor
A shower of pain ran through me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there losing consciousness, I let go of the bloody rope.

The barrel being lighter now, it started down once more
It fell down right on top of me, as I lay there on the floor
It broke 3 ribs and my left arm, and that is why I say
I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.