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Article: 114675 of rec.humor
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From: ded@kps.se (David Edwards /DP)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Desperately seeking "A Grim Fairy Tale"
Message-ID: <1333@kps.se>
Date: 9 Jul 93 08:51:04 GMT
References: <21fqes$oep@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov>
Distribution: world
Organization: Kuwait Petroleum, Stockholm, Sweden
Lines: 90

In article <21fqes$oep@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov> gat@robotics.jpl.nasa.gov (Erann Gat) writes:
>I have misplaced one of my most prized posessions, a copy of a humor
>piece entitled "A Grim Fairy Tale" about a Japanese and an American
>car company that compete in a boat race.  (It came across rec.humor.funny
>many months ago.)  If anyone could email me a copy of this piece I would
>greatly appreciate it.


Here it is:
Apropos Japan, I also copied a nice little song at the end. You might 
appreciate it too.

                             A Grim Fairy Tale
                             -----------------
                             
Once upon a time, an American automobile company and a Japanese auto 
company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River.  
Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance.  On 
the big day, they were as ready as they could be.  

The Japanese team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their 
moral sagged.  Corporate management decided that the reason for the 
crushing defeat had to be found.  A Continuous Measurable Improvement 
Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to 
recommend appropriate corrective action.  

Their conclusion:  The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people 
rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person 
rowing and 8 people steering.  The American Corporate Steering Committee 
immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management 
structure.

After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded 
that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing."  To prevent 
losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was 
changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff 
Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the 
boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma 
performer.  "We must give him empowerment and enrichment."  That ought 
to do it.

The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.

The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold 
all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, 
halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to 
the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the 
senior executives.

>
>Thanks,
>Erann Gat
>gat@robotics.jpl.nasa.gov
>
>BTW: Is rec.humor.funny archived anywhere?

Dunno but here's the song:

                 Blame the Japanese
--------------------------------------------------------------
             The New York Times, January 29, 1992
                By George Dawson

When the phone is out of order, and the roof has sprung a leak,
When the money in your paycheck barely gets you through the week,
When the baby has the colic, and your dog is full of fleas,
Don't complain to Washington - just blame the Japanese.

When the crooks are running rampant, and the judges are too lax,
When letters from the I.R.S. demand some extra tax,
When your son is quitting college, and your daughter's getting D's,
Just do what Iacocca does - and curse the Japanese.

When your taxes keep on rising, while your bank-book starts to shrink,
When pollution clouds your city, so the air begins to stink,
When the temperature is falling, and your pipes are sure to freeze,
Call upon your Congressman to bash the Japanese.

When everyone around you is complaining of the news,
And some condemn the Arabs while others blast the Jews,
Stiffen up your lip, my son, and never bend your knees -
Just be a true American, and blame the Japanese.

David Edwards
===============================================================================
The part of you that cannot be mentioned, I am reliably informed
by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning - even if
it could be. --Black Adder